Him and Him.
Let’s remember who we are before giving ourselves to somebody else.
Because they do not know us.
We know who we are despite attempts at denying ourselves. We know we are flawed. We know we make poor decisions. And we know we have failed.
What’s most frustrating is our need to feel wanted. The validation. The updates. The compliments we too often take for granted when it’s going well, but die for when we’re broken. To what end will I play the good friend? The loving boyfriend?
“I got comfortable with you so quickly.”
I know you did- it’s because I let you. I let that happen even though my intentions weren’t yet made up. I let you fall without taking into consideration who you were. Now realizing that you, too, are a person; as equally important as me. And you always were. I just hadn’t decided that yet.
Looking back I like to pretend I took different steps, or made better decisions. What’s crushing is that our capability of forethought is so limiting, and that we can only see so far ahead. What if I let myself love you a little more? What if I stopped thinking about him, for even a few minutes, and started focusing on you and what you were willing to give for me? What if he hadn’t broken us in pieces?
It was my fault that this whole escapade ended. I wanted to try, but I struggled to let him go. I almost wish you didn’t hold on so tight so letting go wouldn’t hurt so much. But you left me with indents on my skin from your nails- they hurt most on the inside.
I think now, I’m aimlessly wondering why I’m trying to crawl back after crawling back before. I got closure on more than one occasion, but I believe my worry stems from knowing you so well that I can’t possibly meet someone like you. Or someone who can trump you. I always said you set the bar too high, and I’d hate to settle for something less than you have to give. You’re perfectly flawed in every way, and that’s what I hate so much about you- You made me love every flaw you had that now I can’t see anything but how you made me feel.
I won’t scheme, or plant a seed, or force something that I know won’t work. I want the best for you, as hard as that is to say, without me. It’s almost bearable, and I hope to see you soon, regardless of the circumstances. Clean your hands, run your hands through your hair and wash your sheets- you’re better than you ever imagined, and I want you to see that everyday.
Until the sun burns out,
Your Love
Tbh
im so excited for the era of tumblr policing
ninthwardjawn-deactivated201902:
- Beyoncé - Speechless
- Drake feat. Lloyd - A Night Off
- Electrik Red - Go Shawty
- Sevyn Streeter - Come On Over
- J. Holiday - Bed
- J. Holiday - Lights Go Out
- Jamie Foxx - Do What It Do
- Lloyd - Year of the lover
- Maxwell - This Woman’s Work
- Twista - Wetter
- Beyoncé - Naughty Girl
- Miguel - Arch N’ Point
- Ying Yang Twins - Pull My Hair
- Missy Elliott - Pussycat
- SWV featuring Foxy Brown - Release Some Tension
- Usher - Trading Places
- T-Pain - Say It
- Timbaland feat. Money - Fantasy
- Usher - BedTime
- Beyoncé - Freakum Dress
- Usher - Do It To Me
- C-Ride feat. Pleasure P - Walk Different
- Drake - Cece’s Interlude
- D’Angelo - Untitled (How Does It Feel)
- Tink - HML
- Plies feat. Pleasure P - Get You Wet
- Omarion - O
- Andre 3000 - Spread
- Twista feat. Trey Songz - Girl Tonite
- Usher - Can U Handle It
- Pharrell Williams - Take It Off (Dim The Lights)
- Robin Thicke - Sex Therapy
- The Dream - Sweat It Out
- Shlohmo & Jeremih - Dope
- Shlohmo & Jeremih - Let It Go
- Usher - Nice And Slow
- The Roots feat. Musiq Soulchild - Break You Off
- Trillville - Some Cut
- Beyoncé - 1+1
- Jeremih - Raindrops
- Ginuwine - Pony
- Drake Feat. James Fauntleroy - On My Way
- Montell Jordan - get it on tonight
- Khia - Lick Me Dry
- The Pack - Make Me Cum
- Aaliyah - Rock The Boat (jelani remix)
- Beyoncé - Blow
- Kanye West - I’m In It
- Lil Wayne feat. Bobby Valentino - Mrs. Officer
- Lady featuring K. Michelle - Scream
- Jhené Aiko - Wait no more
- Foxy Brown ft. Kelis - Candy
- Ciara - Ciara To The Stage
- JS - Ice Cream
- Lil Jon & The EastSide Boyz - Ooh Na Na Naa Naa
- Lloyd - Feels So Right
- Marques Houston - Naked
- Ginuwine - So Anxious
- Outkast - Where Are My Panties Skit
- Tweet featuring Missy Elliott - Turn da Lights Off
- LL Cool J - Doin’ It
- Ciara - Bang It Up
- The Dream - Falsetto
- Pretty Ricky - Get A Little Closer
- Chris Brown feat. Ludacris - Wet The Bed
- Chris Brown feat. Teyana Taylor & Lonnie Bereal - Favor
- Pleasure P - Under
- Janet Jackson - Anytime Anyplace
- Sade - No Ordinary Love
- Pretty Ricky - Grind With Me
- Ne-yo - Sexy Love
- Janet Jackson - Would You Mind
- Maxwell - Til The Cops Come Knockin’
- TLC - Red Light Special
- Usher feat. Beyoncé & Lil Wayne - Love In This Club (part 2)
- Tyrese - Signs Of Love Making
- En Vogue - Don’t Let Go (Love)
- Earth, Wind & Fire - Reasons
- Ready For The World - Love You Down
- Chris Brown - Glow In The Dark
- The Weekend - What You Need (i hate him but this song goes awf)
- Sade - The Sweetest Taboo
- Pretty Ricky - On The Hotline
- 112 feat. Lil Zane - Anywhere
- Ludacris Feat Raphael Saadiq - Splash Waterfalls (Whatever you want) Remix
- Chris Brown - Take U Down
- 504 Boyz - I Can Tell
Reblogging for a friend (nervous laugh) lol
88. Avereaux - XXX
89. Drake - Own It
90. PARTYNEXTDOOR - Thirsty
91. Chris Brown - No Bullshit
92. dvsn - Too Deep
93. Alina Baraz & Galimatias - Make You Feel
94. FKA Twigs - Pendulum
95. Keri Hilson & Chris Brown - One Night Stand
96. Tony! Toni! Toné! - (Lay Your Head On My) Pillow
97. Monica - Love All Over Me
98. Tink - Background Music
99. Destiny Child - Cater 2 U
100. Boyz II Men - Can You Stand The Rain
101. New Edition - Can You Stand The Rain (had to include both versions)
102. Beyoncé ft. Drake - Mine
103. Nicki Minaj ft. Jeremih - Favorite
104. Rihanna - Skin
105. Teyana Taylor - Do Not Disturb
106. Pierre King - Drip
107. Gucci Mane ft. Trey Songz - Beat It Up (gotta get some thug luv shit in there)
108. Rihanna - Yeah, I Said It
109. Beyoncé - Dance 4 U
110. BOSCO - Gold Ghost
111. Pierre King - I Miss It
112. Ciara - Promise
113. Beyoncé - Rocket
114. Ciara - Ride
115. Jeremih - Go To The Mo
116. Jeremih - All The Time
117. Jeremih - Rosa Acosta
118. Sam Smith - Safe With Me
119. Tweet ft. Missy Elliott - Oops (Oh My)
120. Solange - Where Do We Go
121. Truth Hurts ft. Rakim - Addictive
122. Nas & Bravehearts - Oochie Wally (Remix)
123. Nas - You Owe Me
124. Chance The Rapper - Juke Jam
125. Tinashe - Bet
126. Tinashe - Cold Sweat
127. Tinashe - How Many Times
128. Tinashe - Bated Breath
129. Dawn Richard - James Dean
130. K. Michelle - Something About The Night
131. K. Michelle - Hard To Do
132. Tamar Braxton - Raise The Bar
133. Tamar Braxton - Makin’ Love
134. Tamar Braxton - Love It
135. Toni Braxton - I Love Me Some Him
136. Sevyn Streeter - My Love For You
137. Trey Songz - Cake
138. Jhene Aiko - Living Room Flow
139. TWENTY88 - 2 Minute Warning
140. Sevyn Streeter - Sex On The Ceiling
141. Trey Songz - Slow Motion
142. Trey Songz - Panty Droppa (Intro, because the full song is trash)
143. Trey Songz - Love Faces
144. Sevyn Streeter - It Won’t Stop
145. Smith - Tapestry
146. Kevin Hussein - Apt 3A
147. Kevin Hussein - King’s Lullaby
148. Electrik Red - Devotion
149. Jamie Foxx - Weekend Lover
150. Jamie Foxx ft. Marsha Ambrosius - Freakin’ Me
151. Daley ft. Marsha Ambrosius - Alone Together
152. Bryson Tiller - Self-Righteous
153. Maxwell - Lifetime
154. Maxwell - Matrimony
155. Foxy Brown ft. Blackstreet - Get Me Home
156. SWV - Right Here
157. Lil’ Kim - Crush On You
158. Trina - Look Back At It
159. Alicia Keys - Like I’ll Never See You Again
160. Mya ft. Nicki Minaj - Ponytail
161. Spice - So Mi Like It
162. PARTYNEXTDOOR - Persian Rugs
163. T-Pain - Reverse Cowgirl
164. T-Pain - Buy U A Drank
165. Yung Berg ft. Casha - The Business
166. The-Dream ft. Casha - Kill The Lights
167. The-Dream ft. Beyoncé & 2Chainz - Turnt
168. The-Dream - Rockin’ That Sh**
169. Kelly Rowland - Put Your Name On It
170. Kelly Rowland - Ice
171. Kelly Rowland - Motivation
172. Ciara - Backseat Love
173. Brandy - Paint This House
174. Brandy - What You Need
175. Brandy - Slower
176. Jazmine Sullivan - Masterpiece (Mona Lisa)
177. K. Michelle - V.S.O.P.
178. K. Michelle - Ain’t a You
179. Drake - Fire & Desire
180. Ginuwine - In Those Jeans
181. Usher - That’s What It’s Made For
182. Tank - Sex Music
183. Justin Timberlake - End Of Time
184. Justin Timberlake - Mirror
185. Floetry - Say Yes
186. Usher - Hey Daddy (Daddy’s Home)
187. Mario - Music Of Love
188. Usher - Mars vs. Venus
189. Usher ft. Jay-Z & Ester Deen - Hot Tottie
190. Usher - Good Kisser
191. Beyoncé - Daddy
192. Jeremih - 773 Love
193. Drake ft. PARTYNEXTDOOR - With You
194. The Weeknd - Gone
195. The Weeknd - Coming Down
196. Meek Mill ft. Nicki Minaj & YFN Lucci - You Know
197. Rihanna - Kiss It Better
198. Rihanna - Sex With Me
199. Usher - Dot Com
200. Miguel - Adorn